i will continue to stand...

I will keep on standing..

I will stay alive..

For what you are doing to me now is all my karma..

I will pay back all my sins.. Since i got nothing else in this world to hold on to.

It's not that everytime i blog, i blog about sadness in this relationship. But my Freundin, it's because i got no one else in this world to talk to. I don't have friends, nor I have someone else to talk to cool down these feelings down. This blog has been around since our relationship started. She is the only one whom i can talk to when i'm really down. I've got 2 more friends : beer and whisky. But i know i shouldn't rely so much on them, else i will live shorter and have lesz time to be with you, or if i can't be with you, have less time to look at you while standing in shadows.

I know you don't need me. I knew it since long time ago. You've got nothing to loose if you ditch me again. But it's ok. It's all ok...

This week, my happiness lasts only 10 minutes, when you tell me that you found someone whom will help you advance your carrier in pastry... I've been always blaming myself whenever i remember how i encouraged you to study pastry only to see that you felt insecured with a life without a university degree. I'm sorry for that. But at least now there's hope. And you have brighter years ahead than me... I wish you love.